2 months ago
5
Patch 3.3

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Free Agent - NA

if you disagree, ratio

ss

Pip Pip
Jenos Jenos
Inara Inara
Koga Koga

1. pip does too much damage his ult literally two shots yagorath, not much more to say.

2. Jenos is a perfect example of "the boss when you fight him VS when you unlock him as a playable character"

3. Inara is made of rocks and also like 8'7 im boutta bring out my inner monkey and climb that titan AWOOGA

4. dont let kogas pea shooters fool you, he can also

s+

Ying Ying
Rei Rei
Lian Lian
Cassie Cassie
Io Io
Barik Barik
Saati Saati
Furia Furia
Seris Seris
Vora Vora

1. please crush my skull with ur thighs i beg of you i wish nothing more in life, i yearn for it i MUST have it

2. please crush my skull with ur thighs i beg of you i wish nothing more in life, i yearn for it i MUST have it

3. please crush my skull with ur thighs i beg of you i wish nothing more in life, i yearn for it i MUST have it

4. please crush my skull with ur thighs i beg of you i wish nothing more in life, i yearn for it i MUST have it

5. please crush my skull with ur thighs i beg of you i wish nothing more in life, i yearn for it i MUST have it

6. please crush my skull with ur thighs i beg of you i wish nothing more in life, i yearn for it i MUST have it

7. please crush my skull with ur thighs i beg of you i wish nothing more in life, i yearn for it i MUST have it

8. please crush my skull with ur thighs i beg of you i wish nothing more in life, i yearn for it i MUST have it

9. please crush my skull with ur thighs i beg of you i wish nothing more in life, i yearn for it i MUST have it

10. please crush my skull with ur thighs i beg of you i wish nothing more in life, i yearn for it i MUST have it

s

Fernando Fernando
Makoa Makoa
Raum Raum
Imani Imani
Terminus Terminus
Corvus Corvus

1. He's Italian and he also make me question my sexuality

3. probably smells like fish

4. Raum can run really really fast but im faster haha

5. Imani has a big dragon

6. Terminous is made of rocks which is cool but hes a dude and thats kinda gay

7. Corvus has mutli colored hair which means hes edgy, this means that the enemy would be morally compelled to shoot him however they wont because its opposite day

s-

Viktor Viktor
Tyra Tyra
Vivian Vivian

1. Their gun shoots really fast and they do lots and lots of damage.

2. Their gun shoots really fast and they do lots and lots of damage.

3. Their gun shoots really fast and they do lots and lots of damage.

a+

Skye Skye
Grohk Grohk
Mal'Damba Mal'Damba
Sha Lin Sha Lin
Maeve Maeve

1. skye looks like shes been passed around the whole football team sorry not sorry

2. Grohk can become shrek when he changes skins which makes him really powerful and the owner of a swamp.

3. Maldamba is friends with a snake and im scared that if i dont put him in a hihg rank the snake will come for me.

4. Sha Lin is so ugly the devs added a skin with a papr bag over his head LMAOO WTF

5. she has pink hair e girl woman hair woman moment pink also shes ugly as shit and flat. fight me

a

Buck Buck
Androxus Androxus
Khan Khan
Torvald Torvald
Ruckus Ruckus
Lex Lex

1. imagine being a big brolic dude with a tattoo on ur forehead and a goat beard waiting for like 50 years to suck off some weird god that heals for 4 hp every 17 seconds

2. Mccree is a really cool character who can use his ult (high noon) to team wipe like once every 20 seconds.

3. Khan is a chad of all pimps... backhanding the shit outta people by day, piping lian by night

4. Torvald is definitively the typa dude to search up "big boobies" on google.. not even on incognito smh.

5. Ruckus is small, but bolt is big and cool and sturdy and handsome and clever and funny and charming and cute and slimy, creepy, fast, and strong hes every shape and size hes b

I finally did it. I out-pizza'd the Hut. It was the greatest mistake of my life. After years of perfecting my recipe, I made my way down to the local hut, fresh-baked pizza pie in hand. "Try this," I told the kid working the counter. He did, and he had to agree that it was better than anything Pizza Hut had to offer. Soon, the entire store, customers included, was feasting on my delicious pie. The manager walked over, grabbed a slice, and took a bite. I look at him, anticipation rising. This was the boss, the local fief lord of the Hut. His approval meant more to me than all the rest combined. He took a bite and nodded. "I'll be damned," he said, "you really did it. You out-pizza'd the Hut. Shame." Shame? What did he mean by tha- the manager pulled a gun out from behind his apron and shot the nearest customer in the head. "We have a Code Jalapeño," he said into his wrist as he executed the remaining customers. "I repeat, we have a Code Jalapeño." The ground was slick with blood. The kid working the counter choked out his dying breath as the manager turned to me. "You just had to do it motherfucker. You just had to out-pizza the Hut." He shoved the gun in my face. I was too scared to fight, too scared to run. The manager pulled the trigger. A click. The gun was empty. I threw a chair at the manager and scrambled out of the Pizza Hut, not even bothering to see if my missile hit its mark. I was closely pursued by the manager, who had gotten his hands on a deadly sharp pizza cutter. I suspected in his hands it would cut more than pizza. Somehow, I was able to get into my car and speed off, the manager cursing my existence as I left him behind. I took a deep breath. The manager was clearly psychotic. Yes, that was it, just a crazy man with a gun. It had to be. My phone rang. Sister. I picked it. "They're dead, she sobbed. They're all dead. M-mom, dad, Chris, Bill. Dead. They killed them all." I could barely understand her, so great were her sobs. "What do you mean? Where are you?" I asked urgently. "How is this possi-" a single gunshot sounded through my phone's speakers. Silence. Then, I heard a man's voice. "No one out-pizzas the Hut." He hung up. I drove down the empty county road, mind blank. I had nothing. They killed my family. I was alone. At that moment I knew what I had to do. They took everything from me. Well then, I would take everything from them. Pizza Hut was so terrified of being out-pizza'd, they forgot there's one thing worse than a man with a recipe: A man with nothing to lose. I'll give them a limited time offer they won't be able to refuse: two bullets for the price of one. With a free side order of pain.

a-

Drogoz Drogoz
Bomb King Bomb King
Dredge Dredge
Ash Ash
Willo Willo

1. i would put a joke thats slightly racist towards middle eastern peeople, but i dont think it would.. blow up

2. haha get it?

3. get it?

4. you got it right?

5. haha....

b

Zhin Zhin
Kinessa Kinessa
Atlas Atlas

1. Zhin is like Hanzo, except he isn't Japanese and doesn't have a bow.

2. Kinessa is like Strix, but worse.

4. Atlas is lex's son, and thus goes below him, jsut like in the family tree.

c

Evie Evie
Strix Strix
Talus Talus
Moji Moji
Tiberius Tiberius

1. why did they make the halloween skin for evie so... you know.

2. Strix is like kinessa, but better.

3. Talus is a child and if you play him thats kinda weird

4. friendly reminder theres rule 34 for this character

5. furry

d

Grover Grover
Yagorath Yagorath
Octavia Octavia
Azaan Azaan
Vatu Vatu

1. I am grooooot

2. The Second Amendment of the United States Constitution reads: "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." Such language has created considerable debate regarding the Amendment's intended scope. On the one hand, some believe that the Amendment's phrase "the right of the people to keep and bear Arms" creates an individual constitutional right for citizens of the United States. Under this "individual right theory," the United States Constitution restricts legislative bodies from prohibiting firearm possession, or at the very least, the Amendment renders prohibitory and restrictive regulation presumptively unconstitutional. On the other hand, some scholars point to the prefatory language "a well regulated Militia" to argue that the Framers intended only to restrict Congress from legislating away a state's right to self-defense. Scholars have come to call this theory "the collective rights theory." A collective rights theory of the Second Amendment asserts that citizens do not have an individual right to possess guns and that local, state, and federal legislative bodies therefore possess the authority to regulate firearms without implicating a constitutional right. In 1939 the U.S. Supreme Court considered the matter in United States v. Miller. 307 U.S. 174. The Court adopted a collective rights approach in this case, determining that Congress could regulate a sawed-off shotgun that had moved in interstate commerce under the National Firearms Act of 1934 because the evidence did not suggest that the shotgun "has some reasonable relationship to the preservation or efficiency of a well regulated milita . . . ." The Court then explained that the Framers included the Second Amendment to ensure the effectiveness of the military. This precedent stood for nearly 70 years when in 2008 the U.S. Supreme Court revisited the issue in the case of District of Columbia v. Heller (07-290). The plaintiff in Heller challenged the constitutionality of the Washington D.C. handgun ban, a statute that had stood for 32 years. Many considered the statute the most stringent in the nation. In a 5-4 decision, the Court, meticulously detailing the history and tradition of the Second Amendment at the time of the Constitutional Convention, proclaimed that the Second Amendment established an individual right for U.S. citizens to possess firearms and struck down the D.C. handgun ban as violative of that right. The majority carved out Miller as an exception to the general rule that Americans may possess firearms, claiming that law-abiding citizens cannot use sawed-off shotguns for any law-abiding purpose. Similarly, the Court in its dicta found regulations of similar weaponry that cannot be used for law-abiding purposes as laws that would not implicate the Second Amendment. Further, the Court suggested that the United States Constitution would not disallow regulations prohibiting criminals and the mentally ill from firearm possession.

3. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.

I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with putting me in the bottom tier?!?! Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” tier list was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.

But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.

You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

- octavia, problably

Unranked Champions
1 Champions
VII VII